Many women think they can pinpoint exactly when they will get pregnant. They plan their futures and think by this age or this month I will be expecting my first child. Sadly, this isn’t true for all of us. According to the CDC, 6 percent of women ages 15-44 struggle to get pregnant within 1 year of trying. To me, this number seems low and hits close to home.

For me, I was married at 23, lived in exciting places with my spouse, and we decided when I turned 26, we were ready to be parents. We were both healthy and had a stable, trusting marriage. We tried for a year, and still no baby. So, we went to my local doctor and were referred to a wonderful, amazing office, Florida Institute for Reproductive Medicine.

The first step after trying for a year for many couples, is simply going to your physician and having an honest conversation.  Women 35 and older or who have had trouble in the past can do this after 6 months of trying. While it’s not embarrassing seeking help, it can be scary not knowing what to expect.

Here’s what is done in an infertility evaluation in women:

• An honest conversation about your health history, sexual history, and menstrual cycles
• A physical examination of your breasts and pelvic area, including a pap smear.
• Ovulation tests
• ·       Hormone tests
• Vaginal ultrasound

Male infertility can also be the cause of a couple’s issues, so your partner will need to be tested. Men can be evaluated with a semen analysis where the sperm are analyzed for their number of sperm along with the motility (movement of sperm) and morphology (form and structure).

For my husband and I, we were both tested in our initial appointment with the fertility specialist after some blood tests were done. I was told I had PCOS, which explained my irregular periods and hair growth above my lip. (Yay.) PCOS is treatable, and after a couple rounds of tests, ultrasounds, medications, shots, and IUI procedures, we were blessed to become pregnant with twins. 9 months later, my precious Johanna Grace was born.

While my story was not fun for me, I do know others who suffer much more. I recently became friends with a wonderful woman who tried for almost 5 years before being blessed with her pregnancy. The main thing I would tell other women is don’t be ashamed to get help. If you really want a baby, do it. Don’t be scared. Those months were the hardest I’ve experienced in my life. I have never cried so much, but I should have talked to others about what I was going through.

The great thing about my story is that my son Levi was not hard to conceive at all.

Infertility doesn’t have to define you. It is just an obstacle I’m convinced that can be used to make you stronger and appreciate your miracles a little more.

Karyn Meyerhoff is a mom of two in Northeast Indiana where she lives, writes, and loves every day.