As busy parents it can be difficult to find time to nourish our relationship with our partner. We’re pulled in so many directions, between being a mom and a wife that by the end of the day we might not have the energy for anything other than going to sleep. And for so many of us regular date nights just don’t seem to happen.

The thing that no one really talks about before you get married is that to make it a good one you’re going to have to put in some work. Romance is one of those things that just might require some extra effort once you’ve started a family. It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with your relationship it just means that sometimes we have to be creative.

Valentines day is a great excuse to make a little extra effort to bring some more romance into your life. You don’t have to go out for a date night to make that happen- you can do it right in the comfort of your own home after the kids are asleep.  Here are some ideas you can try out:

1. Have a parents-only dinner! I think that family dinners are very important, but every once in a while it’s nice to have adult conversation and not have to remind my daughter to use her table manners and sit on her bottom. You can still keep the kids involved and have them be your helpers to prep a special dinner for you and your significant other. Then feed the kids an early dinner and once they’re in bed, light some candles and have dinner alone with your partner. Or even better–order take out so you don’t have to worry about dishes when you’re done.
2. Create an after dinner dance floor. If just the thought of a grown-up only dinner stresses you out try a dance party instead. Have a fun valentines themed dinner with the kids and then when it’s just the two of you replay some of your old favorite songs–maybe the song you danced to at your wedding. Sip on a glass on champagne, dance and snuggle up under a blanket and recount your favorite memories together.
3. Go stargazing in your back yard. It doesn’t get much simpler than this. Wrap yourself up in a warm coat, gram some pillows and a fluffy blanket and lay outside, or sit on the balcony and look at the starts together. Or if you have a good backyard to do it in pitch a tent and just be with each other together. Just being in a private space that’s not your house can be relaxing and romantic- even if it is just in you’re a tent in your backyard it will help you feel removed from your everyday life.

Jacqueline Banks is a certified Holistic Health Counselor and online fitness coach. She works with women in all stages of motherhood, from mothers struggling with conception to those trying to get their grove back after pregnancy to ensure the best health and nutrition for both mom and baby.