Posts Tagged ‘mom friends’

Making Mom Friends

Friday, September 9th, 2016

making mom friends

At some point when my older daughter was around four months old, I began to feel more human again. I was coming out of the fog of having a newborn.  Unfortunately, this is when the loneliness set in. I was a new stay-at-home mom. Many of my friends from high school and college had older kids.  My friends in my current city did not have children yet, and they didn’t understand why I gave up a job I loved to stay home.  I felt like I no longer fit in anywhere.

One morning, I brought my daughter in to meet my husband’s coworkers, and an older woman asked how I was transitioning to being home.  Without waiting for me to answer, she said something to me that has stuck with me.

“Don’t be afraid.  Get out and do stuff.  Make the first move, ask the other mom to get a cup of coffee.  She’s just as scared and lonely as you are.”

She then told me how lonely she was at first being a stay-at-home mom.  Like me, she worked a while before having kids and took a break while they were little.  She also said that some of the moms she met when her oldest was a baby are still her best friends even though their kids were grown up.  It seemed like she knew exactly what I needed to hear that morning.

I took her advice to heart and began looking for mommy and me classes and mom meet ups to do. I used meetup.com and found a mom’s knitting group to go to.  I went to baby story time. I joined MOPS.  And I took the plunge and began asking some of the other moms to get a cup of coffee or lunch after the classes or meet ups.  Some of the moms I clicked with, and some I didn’t. It almost felt like I was dating again, only this time I was looking for new friends.

I’ve lost touch with some of the moms I met that first year, and now with a three-year-old and an almost one-year-old, I don’t have as much time to do all the classes and groups as I used to. I have become close friends with a few of the moms I met, too.  And I always remember the advice I received from my husband’s coworker whenever I am in a new mom group situation.

Becky Nagel is a stay-at-home mom from Denver, CO to two girls, 3 years and 11 months old, who enjoys cooking, running, and hiking.

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Mom Seeking Mom: An Introvert’s Plea

Wednesday, October 28th, 2015

Screen Shot 2015-10-19 at 2.56.25 PMHey, Moms. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m the mom at the park who always has her headphones in.

You know, the one you see occupying the bench as you approach with your tiny children, unsure if she is staring intently at her offspring, or has completely checked out as she looks into oblivion. I’m usually oscillating between feeling terribly guilty that I’m not playing with my kids like some of the other parents and also feeling immense relief that I can sit down for a spell. And while I fully enjoy the company of Ira Glass in my ear, I can be found glancing in your direction and running through scenarios of how I could initiate a social interaction.

It’s at times like these that I so desperately wish someone would create a dating website for introvert moms. The notion of attempting a social interaction only to find a complete lack of compatibility is enough to make me want to take a nap (though, lets face it—it doesn’t take much these days to make me want to take a nap. #parenting). The unfortunate reality of being an introvert, though, is it doesn’t eliminate the need for human connection, it simply makes it that much harder to achieve it. So wouldn’t it be great if some Internet elf could do all the exhausting small-talk work for me?

IntrovertMom86
Seeking: Other moms with preschool- to kindergarten-aged children
Interests: Improv comedy, running, and anything that isn’t crafts
Parenting style: Free-range with occasional swearing
What I Have To Offer: Excellent listening skills, sarcasm, and nonjudgment when you talk about how you pooped in the birthing tub. All moms who wear sweatpants to drop-off invited to reply.

Until someone answers the plea of introvert moms everywhere and creates this website, I anticipate many of my park outings will involve the company of my podcasts and my social anxiety, with the occasional interruption from a very determined extrovert here and there. In the meantime, feel free to say hello. I very well may awkwardly acknowledge your ability to human more appropriately than I.

Keighty Brigman is terrible at crafting, throwing birthday parties, and making sure there isn’t food on her face. Allegedly, her four children manage to love her anyway.

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Finding Mom Support

Tuesday, June 10th, 2014

Finding Mom SupportI became a mom in August 2012. My husband was in the Navy. We lived in Southern Georgia, and I had never been around babies. Fast-forward two months later: We move to Northern Indiana, 6 hours from any family or friends. My husband starts his new job, and I have a 2-month-old baby girl. It would be an understatement to say I needed mom support. A good friend once told me that finding other moms you can connect with was one of the most important parts of motherhood, and I have to say I agree.

Where to find mom support?

For me, the first support I found was in a local mom’s group called MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). I was fortunate that our realtor saw I needed some friends and invited me to her church to check out the group. Not only does this organization offer encouragement, it also offers free breakfast and free childcare. You can find groups in your community who meet weekly, monthly, or even bi-monthly.

If you are a stay-at-home mom, try to connect with your husband’s coworkers and their spouses. Check out websites like mommeetmom.com or Meetup.com. Facebook has helped me find many connections for support. Local groups have pages on Facebook where you can ask questions, meet other moms, and even plan play dates with other moms in your area.

Benefits of Mom Support

I think finding other moms to connect with and support you is a vital part of motherhood. It helps to go to those who have been through this journey before. The support of other moms can also help you maintain your sanity. I know I cherish the times I have with other moms. We may just sit and talk while our kids play or go for a long stroller walk while sipping Starbucks. However, the adult conversation does me a great deal of good. Other moms can be helpful when you have questions. From nursing to potty training, most moms can be helpful and share a funny story or two to make you feel at ease.

Remember that you ultimately are the mom of your children. Don’t ever let another mom make you feel that you are inadequate or not enough for your child. Look for moms and groups that will build you up and help you along your journey. Sharing your motherhood journey with others help you through the tough times and allows you to see you are a great mom. I am lucky enough that  I have two lifelong friends whose children are a week younger than my daughter. They encourage me, laugh at my stories, and wipe away any tears I have. That my friends, is support.

Karyn Meyerhoff is a mom of one and one on the way in Northern Indiana. She loves being a mom, but she really needs the support of others.

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