Posts Tagged ‘introvert’

Oh Yeah, I’m a Mombie

Wednesday, September 14th, 2016

mombieI do math every night. It’s a word problem that starts something like this: How many hours of sleep will I get if I go to sleep at X time? I’m tired, so tired. The little ones have colds this week with a cough that keeps them up. And there’s that whole infant, toddler, and preschooler thing happening. Right now, at 9pm on a Wednesday night I should go to sleep. Just one more hour, I say. And then another. The house is quiet. Oh, glorious silence, how this introvert misses you. I know my 5 month old will wake at 5am to eat. And then the other children will be up by the time I could fall back asleep. So 5am is the latest time when my day life kicks off.

But my nightlife is all mine. It’s a rockin’ good time with dim house lights and a roarin’ good show on the stage of my TV stand. Sometimes a documentary, other times a Netflix rerun because at the end of a day with a zombie mind the highest I can process is some Parks and Recreation. Sometimes I’m actually getting “things” done, like bills, blogs, diapers and other laundry, or the little stuff that makes up life. Often I’m getting very necessary things done like “me time,” and that’s why it’s hard to give up.

There’s even a term floating around the Internet: I’m a mombie, part zombie and part mom. I lurk in the night because for 16 or more hours of the day I am drained of my life energy. Like many parents I don’t get many moments to myself. It is amplified by the stay-at-home-with-young-ones aspects of life.  I do not mean to say others who work and have kids of varying ages don’t also suffer from mombie (or dadbie?) inclinations, but the whole “mom, mom, mom, hold me mom, let me sit on top of you, mom, mom, mom, lunch mom, snack mom, I had an accident, mom, mom, mom” all day long wears on this introverted mama. I also recognize there are those who would love to stay home if they could. I’m not complaining about my life so much as just claiming what I need— time to myself.

So every night I start the math problem. How many hours of sleep will I get if I stay up until X? I feel disheartened when I realize if I want 8 hours of sleep I must go to sleep shortly after the kids, immediately after my husband. And that equation only works if I don’t factor in the likelihood of my children waking in the night. So I stay up instead. I crave alone time all of the time. It isn’t a slight against all the wonderful people and things in my life. It’s that I want some one-on-one time with myself just as much as I want that time together with my family.

Great joy exists in uninterrupted silence, or uninterrupted anything for that matter. It’s also critical as so much of my day is filled with meeting everyone else’s needs. It is entirely possible to “lose myself” in being mom, daughter, spouse, neighbor, friend, etc. So it’s at night those parts of me that I’ve put on hold—the book lover, academic, fashionista, theologian, sociologist, animal-lover, health conscious, organizer, game player, baker, and more—come to life again. I’m not so keen on calling myself a mombie but I fit the bill. I like to think of it more as I tend to my roots after dark so in the day I can flourish.

Lynette is a mom of three children from 5 months to age four. She has cloth diapered all three since birth and enjoys all things eco-friendly and mindful living.

Mom Seeking Mom: An Introvert’s Plea

Wednesday, October 28th, 2015

Screen Shot 2015-10-19 at 2.56.25 PMHey, Moms. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m the mom at the park who always has her headphones in.

You know, the one you see occupying the bench as you approach with your tiny children, unsure if she is staring intently at her offspring, or has completely checked out as she looks into oblivion. I’m usually oscillating between feeling terribly guilty that I’m not playing with my kids like some of the other parents and also feeling immense relief that I can sit down for a spell. And while I fully enjoy the company of Ira Glass in my ear, I can be found glancing in your direction and running through scenarios of how I could initiate a social interaction.

It’s at times like these that I so desperately wish someone would create a dating website for introvert moms. The notion of attempting a social interaction only to find a complete lack of compatibility is enough to make me want to take a nap (though, lets face it—it doesn’t take much these days to make me want to take a nap. #parenting). The unfortunate reality of being an introvert, though, is it doesn’t eliminate the need for human connection, it simply makes it that much harder to achieve it. So wouldn’t it be great if some Internet elf could do all the exhausting small-talk work for me?

Seeking: Other moms with preschool- to kindergarten-aged children
Interests: Improv comedy, running, and anything that isn’t crafts
Parenting style: Free-range with occasional swearing
What I Have To Offer: Excellent listening skills, sarcasm, and nonjudgment when you talk about how you pooped in the birthing tub. All moms who wear sweatpants to drop-off invited to reply.

Until someone answers the plea of introvert moms everywhere and creates this website, I anticipate many of my park outings will involve the company of my podcasts and my social anxiety, with the occasional interruption from a very determined extrovert here and there. In the meantime, feel free to say hello. I very well may awkwardly acknowledge your ability to human more appropriately than I.

Keighty Brigman is terrible at crafting, throwing birthday parties, and making sure there isn’t food on her face. Allegedly, her four children manage to love her anyway.