October 15th was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day across the world. Around the globe people joined together in a ‘Wave of Light’ by lighting a candle in remembrance of babies who have passed away during pregnancy, at birth, or after birth. Our featured family this week has experienced multiple losses. Brandi is very open about her family’s losses. I hope sharing her story here honors the memory of her angel babies, as well as spreads information about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
Who are the members of your family?
My family consists of all boys and me! There is Brad (the Daddy), Brandi (the Mommy), Nate (who is 5), Luke (who is 5 ½ month old), and Reese (the first born…dog). We also have four angels as we have had three miscarriages and a stillbirth. Nate helped us name our babies that left us before we could know who they were. He named our first baby “Tomato Plant”, our second baby “Daisy”, and our fourth baby “Poppy”. Our daughter, Leni Grace earned her angel wings and was born on 05/18/10. We are a cloth diapering, co sleeping, baby wearing, extended breast feeding family!
What is your favorite Mom’s Milk Boutique product?
I am in love with the Dandelion Toys. Luke loves the roly poly balls and I am so excited about the new people rattles that Mom’s Milk Boutique is getting in! Those are going on his Christmas list!
What is your favorite baby carrier and why?
I love my moby wrap! We use it everyday! At first I thought it would be hard to figure out but I am pretty sure I could wrap it on me in my sleep! I love how snuggly he is when he is in it. If he is upset I can put him in the Moby and he immediately calms down and just melts up against me. I love it! I also have a baby hawk which is my second preferred carrier and an Ergo. I am not crazy about it yet but I am hoping that I like it more when he gets bigger and heavier.
Describe your cloth diaper stash:
I prefer solids over prints and love to see pastel colors on him! I have a variety of diapers and am willing to try any of them. We used prefolds some in the beginning but now I mainly use AIO’s or pockets. I have FuzziBunz, bumGenius, Happy Heiney, Bottombumpers, Blueberry and Kawaii. My favorite changes depending on what age we are at. FB was my favorite with my son and about all I had in my stash. However I did not cloth diaper him as a little baby; I started when he was around 1 year old. I like how trim the FB are and how convenient the BG freetime is. I also have a collection of homemade and Thirsties wipes.
Describe your daily routine:
I am a working mommy so I have to plan my day to maximize my time with my boys. I get up before they do to get myself ready. I wake the baby up first to nurse and snuggle him before the hectic day begins! I then wake my 5 year old up about an hour before he has to be at school. He gets up and eats breakfast (usually a chicken biscuit or whole wheat pancakes) and gets ready for school. He goes to a private school so we have no disagreements about what clothes to wear to school and that makes it much easier. We are out the door by 8:00 am. We drop him off at school and then it is time to get the baby settled into his day. On Mondays and Fridays my mom drives up from KY to watch him. Every other Wednesday I am off work. On Tuesday and Thursday he goes to an in home daycare. I always nurse him before I leave him because he is not crazy about taking a bottle. He will take one pretty good at daycare but on the days that my mom has him, he will only take 1 oz at a time and some days will not take it at all. He is not fussy during the day and seems content to hold out for the real thing until I get home. Although he will often come visit me at work to eat and snuggle! My husband picks the boys up after school and I am home shortly thereafter. First things first….the baby has to eat! Nate loves to cook so he helps me cook dinner while my husband plays with Luke. Most nights, I am eating and nursing a baby at the same time! After dinner, we try to go on a family walk and right now, Nate has football practice two nights a week. Then it is bath time, we have a tummy tub for Luke and he LOVES it! We read books and I rock my oldest son to sleep. Yes, I still rock my 5 year old. Then I put Luke in the moby wrap and do my chores around the house and then we go to bed together. He nurses all night long to prepare for the next day!
What is your toughest challenge as a mother so far?
Saying goodbye to my babies before I was ready…when we lost our first baby, people told me that many people had miscarriages with their first pregnancy. I felt robbed. I hate that I only had a few weeks of pregnancy bliss because I learned too soon that a positive pregnancy test did not always means a baby. People told us to try again and we did and were blessed with our first son, Nate. Two years later we were ready to give him a sibling. We got pregnant very easily but again had to say goodbye to that baby. I felt so angry that people had told us that often the first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage but now I had more babies in heaven than in my arms. We got pregnant again as soon as we were given the ok and things were looking so good…until we found out that our baby girl did not have a heart beat. We went to the hospital knowing that we would not be leaving with a baby. It is something that no parent should ever have to go through. After 14 ½ hours of labor our baby girl entered the world silently, and she was beautiful! Six months later I was ready to try again and again got pregnant on the first try and again had to say goodbye. Our son was having a really hard time with all of this and we had a serious conversation about how much more our family/marriage/child could go through. We decided that we would try one more time and regardless of the outcome we would be okay. Ten months later, our rainbow baby entered the world screaming!
We are very open with our boys about their siblings. Our older son talks about his sister and we take them to the cemetery to visit her. People often question why we do this but I want my kids to know that this is nothing to be ashamed of. We did nothing wrong and that we love all of our babies, no matter how long they were with us.
What is one of your favorite quotes?
“I wanted you more than you will ever know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go”
I feel like this quote applies to all of my babies. I wanted each and every one of my babies but had to let four of them go before I was ready. A piece of my heart went with each of them and one day my boys will be out on their own and a piece of my heart will be with them too. No matter how far away my babies are from me, my love will be with them.
Brandi, we thank you so much for sharing your beautiful family with us. Wishing your family much love, light, and peace.
-Sarah
