When you become a mom, life changes. It changes in an amazing way for the better, but with mommyhood also comes more responsibility. If you are fortunate enough to have your mom still around, you can bet you will count on her for some help.

My mom lives 6 hours away. However, when we are home visiting, I need her help. However, how do you know if you are using grandma too much?

My personality type is the kind where I do not like to ask for help. It is hard for me to trust anyone with my babies, but I do trust my mom. There is just something special about the relationship grandmas have with their grandchildren.

When asking grandma for help, remember these things:

Grandmas love to help!

My mom always gets upset with me when I act like we are burden. She loves to help and to her, spending a couple hours alone with her grandbabies is the best thing on earth. She loves it when I ask her to change a diaper, get a sippy cup, or read a bedtime story. My mom wants to be as involved as I will let her. Grandmas just love to help.

Use her when you really need her.

I do think you can over ask your mom for help, however. As a stay-at-home mom, I want to truly ask for help when I need it. This can be especially true of grandmas who babysit for working moms. I know sometimes we can take advantage of our moms, not on purpose. I tend to ask my mom to watch my little ones when I know she has had some time to herself that day, since she only can watch them on her days off. Don’t expect your mom to do it all. If she still works, she will be tired at the end of the day and maybe not up for babysitting. It’s okay for her to say no. Don’t take it personally.

Be appreciative!

When my mom babysits, I always try to be appreciative. For example, if we go somewhere like Target and she’s babysitting, I bring her back a green-tea latte. She appreciates the thought and gesture. This last Christmas she babysat my children a lot so that I could catch up with my local friends and family. I surprised her by sending her a pair of new winter boots in the mail that she really wanted. It doesn’t have to be big. You could send your mom a thank you note or have your little ones take a video for her. Just show appreciation. It goes a long way.

So how do you use your mom to help you out, mommas? I hope I get the chance to be a grandma and spoil my grandbabies. I know I will do anything to help out my sweet daughter if she needs me.

Karyn Meyerhoff is a mom of two in Northeast Indiana where she lives, writes, and loves her mom.