When I was a new mom, I so desperately wanted to find “the book” that had all the answers for me. Reading voraciously had served me well with my birth, but it was proving useless with my first tiny, angry newborn. The more I read, the more dependent I felt on baby books to give me the answers. It led to me nearly spending $75 on a CD set that promised to help me “decode” my baby’s cries, and sitting in the aisle of a used bookstore, surrounded by books on newborn sleep, crying in exhaustion.

The right book wasn’t out there, because no one had written a book on my baby. No one has written one on yours, either. The resources I found most helpful were the ones that help new moms tap into their own motherly intuition and instincts and empower them. Like the Good Witch says to Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, “You ‘ve always had the power, my dear. You just had to learn it for yourself.”

Here is a roundup of the articles I think best help new moms learn that they have the power to take care of their baby without any outside help, books, or advice.

1. Normal Newborn Behavior – The Leaky Boob. This, a thousand times. I learned information in this article that wasn’t covered in all three rounds of childbirth education and breastfeeding classes! I send this to pregnant moms who ask me for good resources, and then I sent it again after baby is born and remind them to read it again.
2. What You Need to Know about Newborns – Pregnant Chicken. This article reminds you that newborns are hard. No book or baby guide is going to make it easier, no matter what your Aunt Brenda who had 7 kids back in the 70s says worked for her. Find what it takes to survive and do it—no guilt.
3. Wonder Weeks Chart – Wonder Weeks. The wonder weeks chart helps you tune into baby’s development process and growth so you don’t feel so powerless when they are hard to soothe or cry a lot. It’s not you, it’s not your milk, it’s not because you didn’t begin sleep training on day one. Information is power!
4. Timeline of a Postpartum Recovery – AlphaParent. So much of what’s covered here was NOT covered by my midwives, ever. Having a baby is a lot like a virgin’s wedding night—all the fuss is centered around what leads up to the main event, and no one tells you what to expect the morning after. This article covers details on recovery from both vaginal and c-section births.
5. Safe Cosleeping Guidelines – University of Notre Dame. Cosleeping is a great tool to have in your newborn toolbox, but there’s lots of misleading and frightening information on it. This article is from a researcher, so it’s purely information and leaves the decision-making to the parents. What a concept!
6. The Five S’s – Happiest Baby on the Block. This is probably an amazing book, but I’ve never had time to read it. Here is the clifnotes version via Dr. Phil. I am linking to this video because the steps are clearly explained, and there’s also a demo on how to swaddle your baby without using one of those fancy Velcro blankets.
7. Latching and Positioning Resources – KellyMom. There are so many ways to nurse, but in the media and in popular representations of breasfeeding, new moms may have only seen one—the cross-cradle hold. A good knowledge of how to latch and how to hold baby to prevent colic, spitting up and gas is invaluable.
8. The Rollover Diaper Change method – MamasChiropractic. This will be life changing for you if you baby is a super-spitter, or if your baby is crying a lot from colic. I had two babies who were very colicky and spit up a ton, and then I learned this method and used it with my third. No spit up! Amazing.

All of these resources have one thing in common: They teach moms the secrets of babies. Their growth, their habits, what they are going through at this stage in life. These are the things that used to get passed down through a woman’s village–her sisters, her mother, her aunts, the women in town who served as lay midwives and had vast experience with babies. New moms need the baby secrets, not parenting advice. Every woman knows how to best parent their baby from day one. We’re born with it.

What resources empowered you as a new mom? What articles do you pass on to new moms in need?

Erin Burt is a freelance writer and mom to three girls. She lives and writes in Queensbury, New York.