Posts Tagged ‘4th trimester’

My Pregnancy: Week 35

Tuesday, April 12th, 2016

Week 35Flowers, balloons, and cute little stuffed bears are sweet gestures to congratulate a mother and family after the birth of a child. Wanna know what I really want?

Leave me alone. One thing I’m almost embarrassed to admit is a deep, incredible, introverted desire to be left alone. I’d like to appreciate the love of family and friends with no expectation of anything in return, including conversation or a thank-you card. In the days leading up to birth the phone dings with text messages and Facebook lights up red with notifications asking, “is she here yet?” and “how are you feeling?” I try deep down to appreciate the love that surrounds me from friends and family. Yet the sheer volume of inquiries is inundating. The day of our c-section come texts wanting details and pictures and more. The days after there are calls of congratulations and more wanting to know how things are, how baby is, how baby’s siblings reacted, and how I’m doing. It’s too much. This time I am turning my phone off on birth day. Hubby has a few key people to contact and they will let others know. Pictures will come with they come and we will focus on our immediate family plus a couple of friends. So what do I want the day of birth? The following text: Hey! We’re thinking of you and can’t wait to meet your little one. Until then, warm thoughts and love to you and yours.

Wine. Maybe this one also makes me sound a little like a shallow mama. It’s not the wine so much as what it represents. I enjoy a glass or two of wine a few times a week. I set that aside for several kids and early breastfeeding for about four years of my adult life. That’s not really too long, but it is my adult life. I likely won’t get to that bottle of wine for a month or even two. I’ll be on pain meds for a week or so and then nursing almost non-stop. But I love the idea of it, sitting there on the counter, for when I’m ready to join the ranks of independent adult who is both a mom and something of her own.

Errands. Especially for c-section mamas, but really for any mama, running errands can be so deeply helpful. I can’t drive for two weeks to begin with. Hubby will be home to help, but he goes back to work eventually. Being a new mom who is nursing every couple of hours and also has a toddler and preschooler makes a trip out to the store seem epic. Grabbing milk and eggs or a random needed item or two from Target will save me literally ten times as much time as you spend on the task. Thank you.

Take the kids out. It can just be to the library, playground, or to grab a quick bite to eat. Sprinkling attention on my toddler and preschooler will benefit us all. First, they’ll love you for it! They’re getting less attention post-pregnancy, no matter how hard we try to wrap them in love. You’ll offer them a special treat and give me an hour or a few at home to enjoy the sweet peace of relative quiet. They say to nap when baby naps—this is generally less possible when you have multiple kiddos. In taking out the kiddos you offer me the simple joy of having one kiddo again, just for the afternoon.

Netflix/DVDs/Amazon Prime. If babies remember music into adulthood, my eldest will have an affinity for The Office, my middle for Parks and Recreation, and this third kiddo time will tell. Many late nights nursing were spent with light television shows on in the background. A perk of Amazon Prime, though an expensive gift, is the 2-day shipping that comes with the subscription. I made several purchases off Amazon for basic household needs because going out with a newborn (much less newborn and other children) is difficult.  I didn’t mind waiting 2 days in exchange or the convenience of not going out in public during those early days.

Annie is a mom of two boys, ages two and four. She enjoys the finer things in life, like compression socks and a full night’s rest.

It Gets Better: The Fourth Trimester

Wednesday, February 11th, 2015

It Gets Better: The Fourth TrimesterI distinctly remember a moment in both of our sons’ lives when my husband and I looked across the room at one another with a confident look in our eyes. Our gaze spoke of an acknowledgement: we made it; we got this! It was a combination of comfort in the routine, more sleep (for all of us!), and an overall confidence in my nursing and our diaper-changing and swaddling and humming skills. The milestone came at about three months for both boys, though every babe is different.

Those first weeks and months of a new little one are glorious, full of doe-eyed gazing and deep warmth in your heart. They are also tearful and exhausting. Even if you made it to “full term,” your little one has much still to accomplish in these first few months. The fourth trimester for your babe involves adjusting from the comforts of the womb to life outside; for mommy, this post-partum time is filled with fluctuating hormones, sleepless nights, and the new uncertainties that come with being responsible for another’s life.

It’s easy to be overwhelmed, frustrated with a baby or child or partner that isn’t acting how you expected. In those discouraging moments how easy it comes to belittle your body and the hard work you put into each day. After all, some days it seems you just sit on the couch while the house messes itself up around you! Don’t let that voice win in your head. Swaddle and shush and rock your baby gently all day long if you need. The utter shock of entering the world needs a comforting response, so hold that baby close as long as you’d like.

And don’t forget about yourself. Your body has had a busy year. If you enter into motherhood with more weight on you than you’d like, be amazed at what your body accomplished this year. If you fit right back into your skinny jeans, remember that your body too is still in full swing of fluctuation—of hormones adjusting and sleep depriving you of putting together full, coherent sentences at times. Be kind to yourself; ask for help.  Give people the opportunity to love and support you.

Last, though they may not have had as obvious of changes as you or your babe, remember that the rest of your family goes through the fourth trimester, too. Children stumble into their often unrequested roles as the older child and sibling; partners adjust to their roles as parents and your support system; grandparents enter into a whole new stage in life as parents of parents; and friends learn to be with you in a different time of your life. Oh, what a time to be you! How rocket-flying high and mood-changing low it is! Embrace it, mama. Know it gets, if possible, even better.

Lynette Moran shares her life with her husband and two sons, ages 1 and 3 years. She has cloth diapered both since birth and enjoys all things eco-friendly and mindful living.