My Pregnancy: Week 20

Week 20I’m not even going to string it out, make you wonder, or begin to anticipate. The time finally came this week! It’s a girl! By all appearances a healthy baby girl! Hubby was unable to attend this ultrasound so we considered waiting and having the doctor write the sex down so we could open an envelope together.

Instead we opted to assume it was a girl, that way “we have a 50/50 shot of knowing at the exact same time,” according to my hubby. If babe was a boy I’d know just a split second before him. Doc sent a text to hubby as she told me, and he had his phone at the ready. Ah, technology at its finest. The moment proved sweet and exciting all at once. I picture my husband teaching at the whiteboard, present but distracted with phone in hand waiting with anticipation just like me.

The big sex/gender reveal also involved texts and phone calls to grandparents, siblings, and a couple of friends.  The comments from others about their hopes for the gender reveal continue. I feel less inclined to respond to “complete family” and “I just knew it was a sweet little girl” comments.  Overall I think the comments are settling overall as the great unknown is now established.  It’s strange how hypotheticals can bring to the surface so much of what we think and feel.

As we hypothetically considered the presence of a boy or girl in our lives I found the prospect tiring. Hubby loved coming up with baby names. I found it all very overwhelming, considering twice as many names as necessary. I enjoyed considering names but at some point in the conversation I’d always say something about all names on the table until we know. I’ve observed within myself a curious contradiction of wanting to leave things open (like all the gender norms that we place on a child) in juxtaposition with my appreciation of order and the comfort in knowing what’s to come.

Before the week was up I went through all those Tupperware plaguing the corner of our bedroom and sorted what to store, what to give away. Up until this point I couldn’t wait and just couldn’t wait until week 20 came along. I notice a shift in me. The feeling of anticipation and rush are gone. Maybe I’ll see them again in a couple of months. For now I just want to enjoy my time pregnant, my time with my little girl close to my heart just she and I in the quiet moments of the day.

Annie is a mom of a two- and three-year-old who finally is enjoying the full spectrum of food again. Hurrah and huzzah!

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