Mommy First: Why Your Well Being is Important

mommy first: why your well being is importantSomething definitely happens to a lady when she receives that first positive on a pregnancy stick. Emotionally, physically, mentally…whether it’s planned or not, suddenly you may be feeling this overwhelming sense of responsibility to your baby. That’s natural last time I checked.

However, what I see that is somewhat discouraging is when mom’s well being takes the backseat to the rest of her family. This happens more so when baby is out in the world and no longer inside her belly, but it can happen at any time. Women have a tendency to take on the role as caregiver and most of them have a very hard time drawing that line in the sand when too much is too much.

I have many mommy friends: moms of teenagers, twins, soon-to-be mommies, you name it. If there is one message I would love to pass on to them, it’s that the best thing you can ever do for your child is to be true to yourself. So many moms have their children and instantly they are “mom.” The priority is shifted to the baby’s well being (which is absolutely necessary) but mom falls to the back burner. We stop showering regularly, we aren’t sleeping great, we’re nursing and giving life to this little being that we created. We may be experiencing depression, anxiety, relationship issues with our family or husband.  It’s so easy to get lost and forget who you are when in the first few months, you are the support system for this little person you brought into the world.

But you are SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
Read that sentence again.

Before you had your baby, before you maybe got married, before you started a family, bought a house, who were you? You were you…you had hobbies, interests, goals, dreams, passions. Those are the aspects of you that make you who you are.

This is what so many women need to hear. It’s absolutely important to take care of your baby, to provide, to get up multiple times at night, to nurse. But what is also important is that you stay connected to yourself. To be a good mommy, you need to show up for you. You need to love you.

In my line of work I help guide people. I coach them through life transitions. In order to do that, I have to show up for myself first and foremost in order to show up for them. I have to be connected to myself, accept myself and love myself. When I practice my own self-love, I show up for my clients like this, and they get all of me, unconditionally.

When you show up for your child from a place of self-love, you teach them how to love themselves. You teach them how to thrive and self soothe. You teach them that they can have anything they put their mind to if they love and accept who they are as people. When a mom shows up like that, she is laying a very powerful foundation for her child.

We will always be there to help raise our children, to feed and provide for them while they grow. We will always be there to love them, hug them, laugh and cry with them. And when we are able to feel that stability with ourselves, that internal and eternal love we have for ourselves, we pass that on to our babies.

That is the ultimate gift any parent could give, and one of the biggest things your child needs from you.

Sarah van Rijsewijk is the owner of Natural Peace Life Coaching in Glens Falls. She is the mother of one daughter.

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