When All Your Friends Are Having Babies

When All Your Friends are Having BabiesMany women have a desire to have children and be a mom. It’s just part of us. We dream of the moment the nurse will place a beautiful infant on our chest and our world will be changed for the better forever. We check out maternity clothes in the stores. We “ooh” and “ahh” at the baby onesies that are just too cute. For me, this desire has always been there. It became especially strong after being married for a couple years to my sweet husband, James. I just couldn’t imagine us not having a family.

Luckily for me, my husband has a very good head on his shoulders and he was able to talk me out of babies for a few years. However, after being married for three years, he decided he was ready for us to get pregnant, too. I always thought it would be so easy. You decide to get pregnant and bam!

Not so easy. Fast forward 15 months later, and there was my “bam” moment. After several doctor’s appointments, I was referred to a wonderful fertility practice in Jacksonville. Months of medications later and two rounds of IUI, and I was pregnant with twins. Then came loss. Nine months later, we were blessed with our spunky, passionate daughter, Johanna Grace.

Infertility affects so many women, and like me, many of them suffer in silence. One out of every six couples will experience infertility in some manner according to the American Pregnancy Association. Couples can have obstacles with female or male infertility, and often times, it can be both.

Some paths to motherhood are much harder than mine was. I know women who have yearned to have a baby of their own for many, many years. I know women who have experienced the ups and downs of losing a baby far along in a pregnancy. There were women at the office I went to my age, 10 years older, even 20 years older.

So what do you do when everyone else if having a baby and you aren’t? For me, it was a personal thing. I didn’t want to share my struggle with others. I found solace and comfort with my spouse and our journey of faith. It was growing time for me, though at the time, it was pure sadness and confusion and doubt.

To me, if you are struggling with conception, the best thing to do is find someone to confide in, whether it’s a spouse, friend, or family member. Luckily for us, another couple we knew and loved also were going through the same journey. It helped me to share my struggles and fears with a friend.

Now as for the moments of sadness, I wish I could give you a cure-all solution. It’s hard when you see other moms post their cute babies on Facebook. It’s hard when Mother’s Day comes around again. It’s hard when you take another pregnancy test and there is only one line.

All I can say is don’t give up hope. When all of your friends seem to be having babies, focus on the good and positive things in your own life. You may not be in the same season now, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be someday.

While my daughter Johanna was not easy to conceive, my son Levi was super easy. Finding out he was on his way was a joyous, amazing feeling. I almost didn’t believe it.

So hang in there. Remember, you will have your time and until then, go ahead and like those cute baby photos online and visit your friends and their new additions. Someday, you will want them to do the same for you.

Karyn Meyerhoff is a mom of two in Northeast Indiana. She loves her kids and wouldn’t trade the journey for anything.

 

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