Dear girl/young woman at Target today who said, “Ugh, I will NEVER let kids ruin my life like that,”

Yes, I heard you. I think you wanted me to. My four-year-old heard you and looked at me in confusion, to which I responded with just a smile, hug and told her I loved her. I wasn’t embarrassed, and she didnt need to be either.

Targetgirl, I’m not mad at you, so I’m not going to yell. I’m not even holding hurt feelings for myself. Instead, I just feel a little sorry for you. No, I’m not going to be one of “those” people and spew the cliche phrases that one day you will change your mind or that its different when they’re yours. Because I dont know you. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, you may not have been that way. I feel sorry for you for your inability to recognize that all women are different. We arent suckered in to motherhood, and it isnt a punishment.

Targetgirl, my kids didnt ruin my life. They didnt derail my plans, They arent my burden, or my jail. And any “life ruining” that happened in my life was done by my own accord, not theirs. Any undone plans were put on hold by me, not them. Anything I didnt do before them wasn’t done because of ME. I could have done them but my own choices, both good and bad, stopped me. And that’s okay. I’m only a week away from being 30, I have plenty of time. What’s better is I have plenty of time with them.

Targetgirl, my kids didn’t ruin my life because they ARE my life. They are the reason I live and breathe every day, the reason I work, the reason I strive to be healthy, the reason I want to help other moms and women–for the world they will inherit.

Targetgirl, yep, my kids were being assholes. And you know what? That’s okay. I can be an asshole too, and as you showed today, you can certainly be an asshole. The only difference between us and them is that we’ve had years to learn how to be assholes in a more…socially acceptable way. We can communicate, control our bodies and emotions better, and understand WHY we want to be an asshole that day–that’s it! To be a human being, no matter what age, is to have jerk moments. Its just part of it.

So, Targetgirl, I’m sorry you think my kids ruined my life. Because despite my crazy hair and messy clothes from renovating my bathroom, I’m actually pretty stinking happy. I’m exhausted, broke, often touched out, and half crazy most days, but I’m happy. And if you dont ever want to be a mom, that is okay–I get it! Some women don’t want to be, and they should never be forced to be one. There are plenty of ways to prevent being a mom.
But, Targetgirl, just keep in mind. Just because YOU don’t want to be a mom, it doesnt mean that no woman wants to be one.

My kids didnt ruin my life. My life is good.