The other day my husband and I were discussing toys for children and baby dolls came up. A lot of fuss has been made over the “You & Me Mommy Change My Diaper Doll” because the toy features a baby boy that has a penis. Yes, it is an anatomically correct baby doll.
My first thought upon seeing the picture was that it was weird, but not because it was a doll with a penis–just because it is something you don’t normally see on a toy. I am actually pleased that this is becoming more readily available. I don’t understand why it would actually upset people. No child is a “Barbie Doll” or “Ken Doll.” We all have genitalia. I think that seeing a doll with genitalia is a good thing for a child. It lets the child know that it is normal to have a penis (or a vagina). Obviously it doesn’t need to be incredibly detailed or anything.
My husband brought up the Amish dolls that have no faces. I don’t really see how that is comparable since those are intended to give enough of a resemblance to a human being without actually looking like a human. They could look any way you imagine. This includes hands, feet, and genitalia. Since these are obviously not attempting to look like any one person, I think it really doesn’t apply.
If your child is a boy and they have an anatomically correct doll, they will see the penis and relate. “Hey, I have one of those!” Of course, they could question it, too:
“Mommy, what’s that?”
“That’s his penis. He is a little boy, just like you.”
If your child is a girl and they have an anatomically correct boy doll, will they ask about it? Yes, probably… but it doesn’t have to be a difficult conversation.
“Mommy, what is that?”
“You have a boy baby doll, so he has a penis. That is his penis. It’s how a boy pees.”
If your child has a younger sibling and watches with diaper changes, the doll could help them understand. Alternatively, the baby doll might be understood better by them having watched diaper changes. If your child accidentally walks in on daddy in the shower or going to the bathroom, they won’t be shocked or anything. A penis is part of life. I know I’m not going to have everyone agree with me, but I feel that having an anatomically correct baby doll will help take away the feeling of genitalia being taboo, making it easier to talk about a variety of things they may need to ask as they get older.
The “smooth” dolls without genitalia are weirder to me than the dolls with genitalia. You strip down a doll to change their outfit and they have nothing. No penis. No vagina. No nipples. Just smoothness. Why no nipples?!
I understand that a baby doll like this isn’t for everyone, but I for one wouldn’t be upset if my son or daughter were given a baby doll with genitalia. I am teaching them to love themselves as they are. This includes understanding and accepting they fact they have genitalia.
Christine Kangas is a mother of two.
