Oh Yeah, I’m a Mombie

mombieI do math every night. It’s a word problem that starts something like this: How many hours of sleep will I get if I go to sleep at X time? I’m tired, so tired. The little ones have colds this week with a cough that keeps them up. And there’s that whole infant, toddler, and preschooler thing happening. Right now, at 9pm on a Wednesday night I should go to sleep. Just one more hour, I say. And then another. The house is quiet. Oh, glorious silence, how this introvert misses you. I know my 5 month old will wake at 5am to eat. And then the other children will be up by the time I could fall back asleep. So 5am is the latest time when my day life kicks off.

But my nightlife is all mine. It’s a rockin’ good time with dim house lights and a roarin’ good show on the stage of my TV stand. Sometimes a documentary, other times a Netflix rerun because at the end of a day with a zombie mind the highest I can process is some Parks and Recreation. Sometimes I’m actually getting “things” done, like bills, blogs, diapers and other laundry, or the little stuff that makes up life. Often I’m getting very necessary things done like “me time,” and that’s why it’s hard to give up.

There’s even a term floating around the Internet: I’m a mombie, part zombie and part mom. I lurk in the night because for 16 or more hours of the day I am drained of my life energy. Like many parents I don’t get many moments to myself. It is amplified by the stay-at-home-with-young-ones aspects of life.  I do not mean to say others who work and have kids of varying ages don’t also suffer from mombie (or dadbie?) inclinations, but the whole “mom, mom, mom, hold me mom, let me sit on top of you, mom, mom, mom, lunch mom, snack mom, I had an accident, mom, mom, mom” all day long wears on this introverted mama. I also recognize there are those who would love to stay home if they could. I’m not complaining about my life so much as just claiming what I need— time to myself.

So every night I start the math problem. How many hours of sleep will I get if I stay up until X? I feel disheartened when I realize if I want 8 hours of sleep I must go to sleep shortly after the kids, immediately after my husband. And that equation only works if I don’t factor in the likelihood of my children waking in the night. So I stay up instead. I crave alone time all of the time. It isn’t a slight against all the wonderful people and things in my life. It’s that I want some one-on-one time with myself just as much as I want that time together with my family.

Great joy exists in uninterrupted silence, or uninterrupted anything for that matter. It’s also critical as so much of my day is filled with meeting everyone else’s needs. It is entirely possible to “lose myself” in being mom, daughter, spouse, neighbor, friend, etc. So it’s at night those parts of me that I’ve put on hold—the book lover, academic, fashionista, theologian, sociologist, animal-lover, health conscious, organizer, game player, baker, and more—come to life again. I’m not so keen on calling myself a mombie but I fit the bill. I like to think of it more as I tend to my roots after dark so in the day I can flourish.

Lynette is a mom of three children from 5 months to age four. She has cloth diapered all three since birth and enjoys all things eco-friendly and mindful living.

Tags: alone time, family, infant, introvert, me time, mombie, preschooler, self care, stress, Tags: newborn, toddler

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